Twitter ye not

There is a pressure when twittering to appear to be 'funny' to your friends & 'intellectual' to your work colleagues. It also helps to not appear to be a saddo and to be actually *having* a life but not so much of a life that will raise your boss' eyebrow or the vicar or whoever else might happen upon your facebook page. It's all just too much.

Many a time I start writing a twitter only to discard it. Why? They are all as mundane as each other, I can only put it down to a complex fear of rejection. These twitters languish in the drafts folder of my mobile phone. I thought I'd let them breathe here and will add to them, compare these with my actual twitters (eyes right) and it's hard to spot the difference.

"howard moon colon explorer. i love the boosh"

"Just been to shakeaway with @rachelnunson. I went for after eight & crunchie. Yum"

"bedtime reading. the complete letters of oscar wilde"

"Amazed to see a guy standing right next to a bin decide to shove his rubbish in a bush"

"ha ha. spotted some guy on the tube studying his prince2 course manual. must be his first day"

"Woah, a new bus stop has appeared on exhibition road. Long time coming"

"Just set the smoke alarms off for the first time in the new flat. Did you hear them?" 

The Boy from Space

Anyone in their 30's from the UK will possibly remember The Boy From Space (his name was Peep Peep) - this is the thing that has given me more nightmares than anything else in my whole life so far. Recently someone posted whole episodes up on youtube but they're been removed. I can't believe they are actually showing this stuff to kids - it's wrong.

Passionately yours

Who's the Daddy?

Last week I became a parent…[Drumroll]...let me introduce my Alien baby.

So who is the Daddy?

Well the parenting is shared between 4 people in my office, two mothers and 2 fathers.

The baby was the result of a lunch-hour-sugar-rush-fuelled trip to the Science Museum store. We were so excited when we got back to the office we decided to ‘hatch’ the baby straight away.

The chief male in the group took charge over this ‘conception’ part of the process but has since had no interest in the progress of the youngster (sound familiar?).

His name is Dodec, each 24 hours of hours of earth time is a year of his life so today is his birthday (well everyday is his birthday) and he is 10 years old.

Happy Birthday Dodec and sorry I missed the last 8 years of your life…..I was on a project management training course.

You tube

Anyone who travels in to work on the tube will know you often end up travelling to and from work with some familiar faces. There are times I have been about to approach someone in the supermarket thinking I know them only to stop myself when I realise they are just a fellow commuter.

A few months ago I met a guy at a friends party, we knew each other instantly as we often saw each other on the tube. We talked about bird spotting (something we both have a passion for) but he lost me when he started describing his home made slow worm trap. Anyway after that night we saw each other often on the train and he'd tell me stories of going out to use his bat measuring device, my friend at work used to love hearing about him and he gained the nick-name Batman.

There are then those folk whom you know but have no desire talking to, I tend to approach the station platform with my head down in the hope that if I don't see them I can't feel guilty about ignoring them. These people most likely don't want to talk to you for an hour on the train either.

This week a friend and I were travelling in together looking forward to a good girly gas when we met one of 'them'. First comes the awkward question, do we all sit in a line or opposite each other? (we went for 3 in a row formation). My friend is much better at chit chat but I was stuck in the middle so had them talking across me for 20 minutes. Then she got off and I had to cope with another 20 minutes of agonising small talk.

In future I will stick to the rules....head down (texting is a good way to do this)....ipod on....or heavily engaging phone call.

The things I do to remain anti-social are tedious.

Fight Club

So I have a lot of weird dreams these days, I keep nagging my friend who is a trainee psychotherapist to interpret them but she's too busy buying clothes on the internet.

The other night I actually gave birth, my mom took the baby from me straight away to rinse it under the tap (she's a nurse so she must know what she's doing).

In another dream I visited my friend Rachel's new place of work, upon her request I am blogging this!

Her new office was like a huge airplane hangar but carpeted (nasty blue office floor tiles). She had a long desk herself (well, she is the MD), and then there were some Dilbert style cubicles. About half a mile down the hangar was an electric bike showroom. Anyone who knows Rachel will know this isn't as strange as it sounds :o)

She took me around to meet the team, the first of whom could only be described as a male model ('nice' thinks me), I could enjoy working here. The next thing I know my friend Katie has arrived and her and the male model are wrestling on the floor. Rachel claps her hands yelling 'Oh goodie, fight time'.

The dream experts say:
Fighting - To see others fighting in your dream, suggests that you are unwilling to acknowledge your own problems and turmoil. You are not taking any responsibility or initiative in trying to resolve issues in your waking life.

I checked with Rachel and they don't have a fight-club policy in her company which is a shame.

8 random facts about the author

I have been tagged (just like in a game of tag) by Frankie Roberto in a blog version of chain mail.

He refers to me as a secret blogger which is true, as soon as I discover people are reading my blog I get all embarassed.

Anyway, the rules are simple:

1: Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2: People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
3: At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4: Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Here are my random facts/memories:

1. I wrote to Roger the Dodger (of the Beano) when I was 11 and had my letter printed in the Christmas edition. Unfortunately I cut it out and mounted it on a shoddy bit of card.

2. Ever since I was little I wanted to work at the BBC doing outside broadcasts, I wrote to them when I was 10 for information and they wrote back telling me I was too young to employ (like I didn't know that).

3. Continuing on the theme...I spent the day at the BBC when I was about 15, I helped play jingles for Steve Wright who was very friendly.

4. I 'encountered' a guy in a club who told me he was the second cousin of Adam Ant. Don't know if it was true but he did have his old collection of Beano comics and dug out a pristine copy of the one with my letter in and gave it to me (sweet).

5. So we all know I play the acoustic guitar, did you know I got grade 3 on the Trombone.

6. I have a passion for mixing desks and can often be heard saying that you can't have too many (this is for work purposes you understand, I own none personally).

7. I have a degree in Electronics (keep this quiet).

8. In my previous job I was part of a team who installed ride photography systems in theme parks. My last install was Disneyland's Rock 'n' Roller coaster, this was possibly the best job I will ever do in my life.


Now I'm not sure I actually know 8 friends who blog (bearing in mind I can't tag Frankie) so this might be a short list:

Lisa - Canadian chum who recently deleted an entire blog (whoops)

Jane - friend who won't put this on her blog as it doesn't have shelf appeal.

Rachel - geeky girlfriend who has not blogged for an age.