Thursday, 29 May 2008

One thing to change the world

I was at the pub with some friends last night and we all suggested one thing which we would like to do to change the world. Here are some snippets:

  • Kill all bumblebees - apparently bees becoming extinct would mean the world would end in 4 years. It seems there would be no food left if things went unpollinated by our humble bumble bee. Notably a particularly evil world changing idea.
  • Make natural resources free - Our fear was that everyone would start going into the shed making business (you had to be there).
  • Have a scheme where you can occupy someone else's body/mind for a week and start to understand what motivates other people - anyone remember that Red Dwarf Bodyswap episode? Genius.
  • Put something in the water which makes people want to forgive each other - like fluoride for the soul.
  • Make women's football more popular than men's football in the UK - the boys were well in favour of this.
  • Render any weapon of war useless when in the hands of someone about to kill - world wars would be decided by boxing matches between people with huge artificially enhanced arms.
  • World wide wealth re-distribution every 7 years - so the rich don't just get richer and the poor don't stay poor.
Any more suggestions in the comments box please....

Thursday, 8 May 2008

News Flash - French women don't suffer pms (AS IF!)

I was chatting with some friends at work about PMS the other week.  One of my friends is French and she swears she never heard of this in France.

I can not believe there is no pms in France so my only conclusion is that they either don’t have a term for it or they never talk about it.

We assured her that she **does** suffer from this and we would make a note of her moods and let her know when we think she was suffering so she could confirm our suspicions (after the event of course to ensure a rational response) - note this is how girls lose friends in a day.

Anyway I did some googling and came across a few songs written about said subject, I though I would share some snippets with you:

Parton Dolly, PMS Blues
You don't want to cross my path
Cause a pitbull ain't no match
For these teeth a clenchin', fluid retention
Head a swellin', can't stop yellin'
Got no patience, I'm so hateful
PMS blues, premenstrual syndrome
Got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin'
Nothin' fits me when it hits me
Rantin', ravin', misbehavin'
PMS blues

Mary J. Blige, PMS
Today I'm not feelin pretty
See I'm feeling quite ugly
Havin one of this days
When I cant make up my mind
So don't even look at me

Lunachicks, @#%! (PMS)
I don't like it : PMS
But I got it : PMS
Every month it's: PMS
Gimme a heat pack : PMS
Got any Advil?
Got any chocolate?
I need good @#%!